“Billy Beyrer (aka Whole Lotta Denim) is sorely missed. He totally broke his collarbone for real on the UCB Chelsea stage and kept performing for 10 whole minutes afterwards. I wish I had that kind of commitment. Plus he got WWE’s Mick frickin’ Foley to come to Cagematch, which was so rad!”
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wow…..well I’m overwhelmed.
Recently I expressed my eye-rolling at the movie Bridesmaids getting academy award nominations to one of my closest friends. I found the flick to be quite overrated and a bit boring as hell when I saw it in theatres this summer. However, I am not the only one who had some discrepancies. My very good friend (and probably the funniest fucking woman I know) Stephanie Sottile, sent me this blow by blow as she sat through what Time magazine calls “…a turning point in feminism and comedy…”.
I laughed harder at this email from her while she watched the flick than I did during the movie’s entire absurdly long running time….enjoy.
“I decided to “live tweet” you as I’m watching the movie…here’s goes:
Somehow in the last decade, New Year’s Eve hasn’t exactly been the greatest of times for me. Rather than signify a new beginning it has come to be synonymous with absolute pain, both physical and emotional. And I’m afraid this year is no different.
From having my heart figuratively shatter as I proposed to a woman I had loved since I was 17 only to have it all crumble down like Parkinson’s Jenga, to having my heart literally shatter as EMT workers had to fucking revive me on the floor of the Regal Kaufman Astoria. New Year’s Eve hasn’t exactly been a lavishly romantic celebration of the upcoming future that it normally comes to symbolize.
This year I find myself sitting at home, massively uncomfortable with my right arm in a sling, barely able to sleep and unable to afford to feed myself let alone a night on the town for a “holiday” that warrants it. It’s my very own New Year’s Eve Party with the overlying theme of unadulterated self pity. Since my collarbone injury in November, my insurance has been canceled. A place I’ve worked for almost 7 years now has been little to no help even though I’ve been nothing but loyal and dedicated as they blossomed from a little rink-a-dink one show operation into a transcontinental & international company with celebrity backers and the other place I work at to supplement more income (because NYC is expensive as hell) refuses to let me work there until I’m back to 100% health. With zero money coming in from anywhere and literally 20¢ to my name, Hospital bills and overdue rent & utilities are starting to pile up. At least I have a roof over my head…for now.
I’m unable to work, ineligible for unemployment or disability, my healthcare is inactive, and my folks are pretty much pointing their fingers in my direction to solve this whole mess. I pretty much can’t do a goddamn thing, and I’m going more and more insane.
It’s super hard for me to celebrate a “happy” new year when things are so gargantuanly fucked at the moment. I apologize if I’ve been a grumpy little whiny cunt the last couple weeks to some of you, but I’ve never been this helpless before in my life and I’m using every ounce of energy I have not to completely lose my shit.
I really fuckin’ hope the Mayans were right about 2012. If not, maybe in the coming year I’ll get lucky and have life decides to not continue to shit on me like a construction site port-a-john next to a taco truck.
W.L.D. meets R.O.H.
For Your Consideration
A list of things that don’t make sense to me every time I watch Back to the Future.
- Lorraine likes the name Marty so much that she waits until her third kid to use it.
- George and Lorraine don’t notice that their third child looks just like Calvin (Marty) Klein.
- George needs his car waxed so he hires Biff, the man who once tried to rape his wife. And it seems Biff is allowed in and out of the house whenever. Did George forget that Biff TRIED TO RAPE HIS WIFE?
- In the present Marty creates with his actions in the past, his parents are well off, yet still live in the same crappy house.
- In the new present, Marty’s brother “always wears a suit to the office” and yet he still lives with his parents.
- In the new present, Marty’s sister’s still ugly with the same personality, yet boys can’t get enough (Okay. That one’s mean.).
- When Marty goes back to the present 15 minutes early, he watches Doc get shot. He watches the Libyans chase after his other self in the time machine, with their van. He watches the time machine disappear and the Libyans crash their van. Marty then runs to Doc to see if he is alright. They have nice slow moments together. Meanwhile, off camera, the Libyans are most likely getting out of their van with their guns that still work.
- Doc comes back from the future at the end to tell Marty and Jen that they have to go to the future because “something has to be done about their kids.” Doc COULD just tell them what it is that they need to prevent in the future for their kids. They don’t actually need to go to the future.